W. Randy Hoffman (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mrgoodwraith) wrote,@ 2008-04-23 09:30:00 |
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My own little contribution to the current LJ-roiling fanscandal
This goes out to you wonderful fannish women whom I know well and respect.
Some male fan friends and I would like to try a little experiment.
We would like you, at the next convention we attend, to be prepared to freely answer this sincere and heartfelt question, which you might be asked by any man present:
"Excuse me, but may I touch your dolls?"
By which we mean, "May I strap your antique Holly Hobbie on the toy motorcycle behind my antique Evel Knievel and launch them both down the stairs?" Or possibly, "May I tie up your Wonder Woman doll with an extension cord and have my superhero guys duke it out over her?" (Hawkeye and Green Arrow have been spoiling for an excuse to fight, because it's not like they've ever been allowed to do an All-Star Archery Crossover. And Robin really needs a girlfriend, see, 'cause his self-esteem has been low since his leg got pulled off in the "You Better Give Him Back" Incident.) The interpretation of this question might even be, "May I use your Baby Get-Along as the giant creature menacing my Hot Wheels Search and Rescue Playset?"
We think this could be really liberating and empowering. I mean, it's something we boys have wanted to do since grade school, but societal norms frown on differently gendered plastic engaging in this kind of intimacy.
To save us the time and embarrassment of actually verbalizing this question, we plan to have buttons printed up to distribute to you girls at the registration tables. One set says, "YES you may", and the other says "NO you troglodyte goat-pig". Those who are In The Know will understand.
We're sure this effort will lead to any number of almost mystical moments. We might even have women coming up to us asking, "Is my Strawberry Shortcake worthy of being touched? My little brother puked on her in 1987 and she's never been the same." To which we we'll sensitively respond, "Of course!" And then we'll oh-so-carefully stuff Ms. 'Cake into the skids of an RC Batcopter and buzz the hotel shuttle with her.
We call this the Open Source Barbies Project.
See you at the con! Bring Raggedy Ann! wink wink nudge nudge say no more
This goes out to you wonderful fannish women whom I know well and respect.
Some male fan friends and I would like to try a little experiment.
We would like you, at the next convention we attend, to be prepared to freely answer this sincere and heartfelt question, which you might be asked by any man present:
"Excuse me, but may I touch your dolls?"
By which we mean, "May I strap your antique Holly Hobbie on the toy motorcycle behind my antique Evel Knievel and launch them both down the stairs?" Or possibly, "May I tie up your Wonder Woman doll with an extension cord and have my superhero guys duke it out over her?" (Hawkeye and Green Arrow have been spoiling for an excuse to fight, because it's not like they've ever been allowed to do an All-Star Archery Crossover. And Robin really needs a girlfriend, see, 'cause his self-esteem has been low since his leg got pulled off in the "You Better Give Him Back" Incident.) The interpretation of this question might even be, "May I use your Baby Get-Along as the giant creature menacing my Hot Wheels Search and Rescue Playset?"
We think this could be really liberating and empowering. I mean, it's something we boys have wanted to do since grade school, but societal norms frown on differently gendered plastic engaging in this kind of intimacy.
To save us the time and embarrassment of actually verbalizing this question, we plan to have buttons printed up to distribute to you girls at the registration tables. One set says, "YES you may", and the other says "NO you troglodyte goat-pig". Those who are In The Know will understand.
We're sure this effort will lead to any number of almost mystical moments. We might even have women coming up to us asking, "Is my Strawberry Shortcake worthy of being touched? My little brother puked on her in 1987 and she's never been the same." To which we we'll sensitively respond, "Of course!" And then we'll oh-so-carefully stuff Ms. 'Cake into the skids of an RC Batcopter and buzz the hotel shuttle with her.
We call this the Open Source Barbies Project.
See you at the con! Bring Raggedy Ann! wink wink nudge nudge say no more
