W. Randy Hoffman (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} mrgoodwraith) wrote,@ 2006-06-07 03:15:00 |
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New song: "Towing Mercy"
As I was leaving the Songwriters Circle meeting, I noticed that the sign on the parking space where I had parked had long ago been defaced. It would normally read, "Bloomfield Bridge Tavern customer parking only. All others towed at owner's expense." Somebody had crossed out "others" in the second sentence and substituted "mercy f***s" for it; the "f***s" had been (badly) whited out, so from a distance the sign now read, "All mercy towed at owner's expense." This annoyed, then perplexed, then bemused me; this song is what resulted.
"Towing Mercy"
lyrics and music written 6/6/06 by W. Randy Hoffman, ©2006 W. Randy Hoffman
(inspired by graffiti on a parking-lot sign at Pittsburgh’s Bloomfield Bridge Tavern)
I stopped my car before a sign with lettering quite dense
"Customer parking only, others towed at owner's expense"
The "others" word was scratched and scrawled above with violence
Was "mercy effs" by someone with nothing to say
Obscenity for obscenity’s sake is not my idea of fun
The person or persons who put it there did what they shouldn’t oughta done
The F-word was all whitewashed but you could still see where it had run
Leaving "mercy" parked there to be towed away
This made me pause to wonder why some poor illiterate
Big Sharpie marker wielding sort of foul obnoxious twit
Would write those words so proudly as if they were a badge of wit
When they're meaningless if you weren't there that day
Obscurity for obscurity's sake is not my idea of fun
A racial slur I could understand though it shouldn't oughta be done
Why humps and not the pure absurd like "mimes" or "walls" or "nuns"?
No, it's "mercy" parked there to be towed away
I got a horrid feeling that the sign was in that state
Because some vandal morons wanted to commemorate
An actual event, presumably some hopeless date
In which Ugly Duckling nonetheless got laid
Such pity-partified fornication is not my idea of fun
But perhaps some backseat drivers did what they shouldn't oughta done
The sex was too embarrassing -- all parties cut and run
And both car and mercy were soon towed away
It's such a strong temptation to just laugh and not think twice
But often we are just as bad, demanding as a price
For badly motivated virtue or some kindly vice
Some scarlet letter or some tarbrush praise
Hypocrisy for hypocrisy's sake is not my idea of fun
Do what you shoulda oughta do, not what you shouldn'ta done
No whitewash on your screwovers will long endure the sun
Park your mercy where it won't be towed away
THE END
As I was leaving the Songwriters Circle meeting, I noticed that the sign on the parking space where I had parked had long ago been defaced. It would normally read, "Bloomfield Bridge Tavern customer parking only. All others towed at owner's expense." Somebody had crossed out "others" in the second sentence and substituted "mercy f***s" for it; the "f***s" had been (badly) whited out, so from a distance the sign now read, "All mercy towed at owner's expense." This annoyed, then perplexed, then bemused me; this song is what resulted.
"Towing Mercy"
lyrics and music written 6/6/06 by W. Randy Hoffman, ©2006 W. Randy Hoffman
(inspired by graffiti on a parking-lot sign at Pittsburgh’s Bloomfield Bridge Tavern)
I stopped my car before a sign with lettering quite dense
"Customer parking only, others towed at owner's expense"
The "others" word was scratched and scrawled above with violence
Was "mercy effs" by someone with nothing to say
Obscenity for obscenity’s sake is not my idea of fun
The person or persons who put it there did what they shouldn’t oughta done
The F-word was all whitewashed but you could still see where it had run
Leaving "mercy" parked there to be towed away
This made me pause to wonder why some poor illiterate
Big Sharpie marker wielding sort of foul obnoxious twit
Would write those words so proudly as if they were a badge of wit
When they're meaningless if you weren't there that day
Obscurity for obscurity's sake is not my idea of fun
A racial slur I could understand though it shouldn't oughta be done
Why humps and not the pure absurd like "mimes" or "walls" or "nuns"?
No, it's "mercy" parked there to be towed away
I got a horrid feeling that the sign was in that state
Because some vandal morons wanted to commemorate
An actual event, presumably some hopeless date
In which Ugly Duckling nonetheless got laid
Such pity-partified fornication is not my idea of fun
But perhaps some backseat drivers did what they shouldn't oughta done
The sex was too embarrassing -- all parties cut and run
And both car and mercy were soon towed away
It's such a strong temptation to just laugh and not think twice
But often we are just as bad, demanding as a price
For badly motivated virtue or some kindly vice
Some scarlet letter or some tarbrush praise
Hypocrisy for hypocrisy's sake is not my idea of fun
Do what you shoulda oughta do, not what you shouldn'ta done
No whitewash on your screwovers will long endure the sun
Park your mercy where it won't be towed away
THE END
