Mr. Goodwraith's LJ Lair

Confluence hotel and prereg deadlines TODAY

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 04:42:50 GMT

Man...how I wish I had time to post all that I want to. But I'm just not getting a break. Nonetheless, I need to take at least enough time to remind you that if you're coming to Confluence and haven't yet reserved your room, you need to do it TODAY (Thursday July 3); the room block is closing. (Does anyone know whether darrenzieger is staying with someone else over Confluence weekend? I don't see his name on the latest reservations list that the hotel has given us. Also -- are you coming, happyfunpaul? I don't see your name on that list either.) For contact information, see http://www.parsec-sff.org/confluence/hotel.html.

Also, if you're coming to Confluence and you haven't sent in your preregistration yet, today is the last day to do that as well. See http://www.parsec-sff.org/confluence/whatis.html#member.

I hope to be able to post a final...ish filk schedule here in the next couple of days. Getting close now, and really looking forward to it!

My Pegasus ObNom list

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:52:40 GMT

I'm still struggling to carve out enough time to post a few updates and the lyrics for at least four new songs -- maybe a sliver of that tomorrow night? -- but for now I wanted to post this plug.

If you haven't submitted your Pegasus nominations ballot yet, here is a list of one nominee for each category that I consider essential, and I hope that you will join me in putting forward:

Best Song: "Uplift" by Andrew Eigel
OK, I know, all the shilling for this song is probably in danger of starting a backlash. But there are two really good *reasons*, having nothing to do with its past also-ran status, that this song should not only be nominated, but also *win*: First, it is a great piece of music; second, it both celebrates and encourages the progress of spacefaring human civilization in a way that few songs can match. It is the archetypal Asimovian "SF is the genre of human adaptation to advancing technology" filk.

Best Classic Song: "Chess" by Juanita Coulson
Yes, I want "Little Fuzzy Animals" to win this someday. But "Chess" -- overlong as some people may find it, including Juanita herself -- is musically masterful, romantic, as cheerleadery for space as "Uplift" is, and full of shivery goodness. Juanita deserves to get a Pegasus for it, and she deserves to get it non-posthumously, know what I'm sayin'?

Best Songwriter/Composer: Ben Newman
Some of us turn out more material. Some of the material other people turn out is better. But there isn't a single one of us in this community who is as *consistently* good as Ben. Song after song, his creations are thoughtful, polished, and pleasant to listen to on a repeated basis; he just doesn't *do* mediocre.

Best Performer: Amy McNally
Fiddler extraordinaire Amy might not be a headliner, and she might not be pulling down those Filk GoH slots. But, like Judi Miller, she gives freely of her tremendous talent and energy -- at concerts, in studios, at open filks, etc. -- and makes every performance she's involved with *better*. Unlike even our most heralded "star" performers, I've never listened to her play a number and been impatient for the next song to start.

Best Tragedy: "Murder Was the Play" by Luke Ski
When one thinks of tragic songs, Luke isn't the first performer that springs to mind. And I grant you, this song isn't an ose number that'll leave you crying in the isles, nor does it even have an original melody, and the verses are rapped. But it is, IMHO, the best encapsulation of "Hamlet" in short musical form evah. If I were a high school English teacher trying to get Shakespeare across to my students, this would be the song I would play for them. And since for the purpose of this category we're talking "tragedy" in the classical theater sense, I submit that there are few filk songs that qualify better.

Best Comedy: "Grease Wars" by Luke Ski
This one did not make the Brainstorming Poll and I'm kicking myself for not thinking of it in time. There are loads and loads and loads of *funny* songs out there, but once again, we're talking "comedy" in the theatrical sense for this category: a narrative, usually comic, in which the protagonists triumph over adversity to reach a happy ending. That being the case, this tour-de-force creation -- with tunes drawn from a fit-the-bill musical comedy play/movie and lyrics commenting on a fit-the-bill SF film -- qualifies in spades. Sure, it's long; so is "Horsetamer's Daughter." And yeah, the music isn't original, but that's the point: The way Luke has woven filks of every major song from "Grease" into a retelling of "Star Wars" is utterly magical.

I hope you'll consider adding these to your ballot when (not if) you submit one! (Plug mode, deactivate...for now... ;-) )

Another home-safe post (thankfully!)

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 03:30:48 GMT

The weather was lousy most of the way home (including some *extraordinarily* strong thunderstorms), but I got back here OK. Contata = super-duper, despite hotel troubles. More later. Good night.

Wordspew postponed, quick "Crystal Skull" review (no spoilers)

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 15:20:21 GMT

I know that the long wait to hear about my concert on June 7, the Jonathan Coulton/Paul & Storm concert that followed it, and my trip to DucKon on June 13-15 is just killing you all, but I have to get ready for the Contata trip this weekend and therefore I'm too busy getting other stuff done to oblige you right now. I fully intend to get caught up next week if at all possible, however.

In the meantime, I'll take time for a brief "Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull" review. Yes, this movie is more SFnal and even goofier than its predecessors, and the science is total junk at best. But it has its share of great moments, and the entire main cast -- Ford, Blanchett, Allen, LeBeouf, Winstone, Hurt, Broadbent, and Jijikine -- all turn in very good performances. (Karen Allen in particular was wonderful and looked like she was having amazing amounts of fun.) At first the differences between this film and the earlier installments annoyed me, but about a half hour in I figured out that the paradigm has shifted. Whereas the first three are homages to/parodies of the serials of the 30s, this movie is an homage to/parody of the science fiction B-movies of the 50s. Once I made that internal adjustment, preparing for ridiculousness and accordingly turning up my suspension of disbelief a few notches, I settled in for the ride and the rest of the flick didn't really disappoint. I'd recommend it as long as you don't go in expecting more of the same.

(One last thought: I'm kinda glad they didn't film "Indy 4" in the 90s, because if this franchise is roughly tracking the 50th anniversaries of pulp-film trends, we might have gotten an homage to/parody of the *40s* serials. You know, the ones with the 4F cast, no budget or script to speak of, loads of propaganda, and occasional racism...eesh.)

Those fun-loving Romans

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 20:58:41 GMT

Ganked from r_ness and others: A Roman D20.

I love the bit about how "[m]odern scholarship has not yet established the game for which these dice were used." I should think that's obvious.

-------------

GM Scipio: "The dark mist seems to pulse in III-part rhythm, like unto that from the III smithies along the Via Agrippina multiplied Mfold. Do you proceed or withdraw?"

Marcus: "Withdraw! None of us hath more than V or X hit points!"

Sartorius: "Proceed! Fear is for women and for the old men who offer chickens to Aesculapius every week!"

GM Scipio: "Tertullus, thou art the party leader. What is thy decision?"

Tertullus: "I only need CM more gold denarii to afford a Staff of Minerva's Wisdom. We proceed."

GM Scipio: "Thou truly wishest to try to enter the Land of the Dead, Tertullus? From whence none save Orpheus ever came again -- who had more talent in his toenail than all of your characters shall ever have, put together, even if you make level L? Is that really what thou desirest to do??"

Sartorius [to other players]: "He's just trying to frighten us! They're all *dead* -- how much fight can they put up? Just one encounter, and if it's not easy experience, *then* we can go heal up!"

Marcus [replying]: "Come on, guys! Remember what happened at that island with all the sheep? 'Easy pickings,' 'free lamb for cena,' and then we ran into those one-eyed giants?!"

Tertullus: "Thou worriest too much, Marcus. Thou needest to go to the arena more often! Why, I saw a single thraex take out five murmilli last week!" [to the GM] "Onward!"

GM Scipio: "Very well. Adventurers, you round the corner and come faces-to-faces with Cerberus, guardian of the entrance of Hades."

Marcus: "What did I tell you? Huh?! What did I *tell* you?!"

GM Scipio: "Its VI eyes fall upon you balefully. Roll for initiative, Sartorius."

*roll*

Sartorius: "Apollo's corns! A natural I!"

GM Scipio: "Having been taken utterly at a loss, thou dost not have time even for surprise as the monster's number-II head bites off thine own with a single snap."

Tertullus: "What the coitus?!"

Sartorius: "Verily thou art a killer GM!!"

Birthdays, deaths, health issues, and big Confluence news

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:40:09 GMT

I hope to start regurgitating posts about the last week and a half's worth of events tonight. In the meantime, a few items I want to quickly note:

Belated birthday-of-happiness wishes to fireskin, dhstein, demoneyes, hsifyppah, and kirylyn. Day-early natal-joy wishes to
sdorn, bardiclug, and shadowriderhope. RIP terrific newsman and interviewer Tim Russert, Jr., and super-awesome creature designer Stan Winston, among others. Prayers and "pink-heart vibes" to filker Gwen Zak, who is in the hospital recovering from a heart attack, and to SF author Howard Waldrop, who at last report was scheduled for bypass surgery today; more good wishes and prayers to several folks on my flist who are (a) sick (including blackpaladin), (b) trying to get better, (c) recovering from operations (such as hsifyppah), (d) having to contemplate operations (including meritmaat) or (e) need a diagnosis or other medical determination of what to do next (such as figmo and smoooom).

Now for important announcements about the Confluence filk schedule:

Because he's been busy out of his mind (and physically and financially drained) building Roxx, the coffeehouse/gaming center he's been dreaming of for years, and is about to open it, Andy Eigel (andreweigel) isn't going to be able to perform at Confluence or even attend. However, we are adding two new 50-minute concert performers that should make you folks happy.

One is Lawrence Dean.

The other is Sassafrass (sassafrassmusic).

They join Lord Landless, Juanita Coulson, singlemaltsilk, Pete Grubbs, joe_haldeman, Naomi Pardue, Dr. SETI, Dave Wells, and darrenzieger in our lineup for the weekend. This finalizes the tally of concerts for Confluence 2008. I feel teh awesome beginning to build...

Home home home safe...

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:39:46 GMT

...from DucKon. Yes, that's where I went this weekend. Had a great time; it was an excellent con! But for now...[collapsey noises, "Nestea Plunge" footage].

Done at last

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 04:40:34 GMT

Survived the Evil Document of Badness. Now I get a day off. Boy, do I need it.

Blindsided

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 22:48:17 GMT

2 p.m. this afternoon. Finishing up the edits on a PowerPoint presentation on the American Society of Mechanical Engineers (ASME) Code. Looking forward to getting home early and preparing for my trip tomorrow. But no.

In walks one of the nicest, wonderfullest people in the office with a forlorn expression on her face. "I'm so sorry to drop this on you at the last minute," she says, "but it has to be submitted to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission tomorrow."

THUMP. 148 pages.

"You do know," I said evenly, already knowing the answer, "that I'm not going to be in tomorrow?"

She gets a horrified look that tells me my guess was correct.

"Don't worry," I reassure her. "It'll be on your chair in the morning."

So, here I sit, editorially poring over the results of 124 computer runs intended to verify that the shiny new Westinghouse algorithm for reducing uncertainties in the modeling of large-break loss-of-coolant accidents meets all applicable NRC requirements. And thus I shall remain until the job is done. Gonna be a double Diet Mountain Dew night for sure.

Those of you who know where I was planning to be tomorrow? Well, I still plan to be there. But it won't be *early*...

Audacity help?

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:54:09 GMT

OK, I installed Audacity 1.3.5 beta last night, got it running, and can record my voice. But it sounds much, much fainter when I play it back, even with the various volume controls turned up full. How do I fix that? The Audacity tutorials are a mess; I gather I need to "set levels," but I couldn't figure out how to do that.

Rapid developments

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:50:21 GMT

I promised the fine folks at thehouseofmews that I would post about the coolness of last weekend, and I'll do that as soon as I have a chance, but right now there are several things going on:

- I can confirm that Professor H. Paul Shuch, otherwise known as "Dr. SETI," will be joining us at Confluence '08. He'll be presenting "Sing a Song of SETI" on Saturday afternoon, and AFAIK will also be participating in a memorial retrospective panel for Arthur C. Clarke.

- Waiting to hear from a couple of other filk artists that I would love to give the final Confluence '08 concert slots to.

- Waiting to hear from yet another filk artist about the Confluence '09 Featured Filk Guest slot. I'm really excited about this possibility! (Other folks already lined up for '09 concerts: almeda, toyboatband, and my Pittsburgh Songwriter's Circle friends Dennis McCurdy and the Lonesome No More Band.)

- Waiting to hear from a couple of cons about whether and how I can be of assistance in handling "the Tom Smith situation."

- Of most urgency: I would like to get a song on the fundraiser CD for Tom that's being put together, but the deadline is Sunday. I can't get into a studio by then, and I don't have time for any other non-slapdash arrangements (work today and tomorrow, concomm meeting tonight, oil change and departure prep tomorrow night, out of town all weekend). I do have a microphone on my laptop, as cheesy as that is; can anyone suggest any *dead simple* audio-recording freeware that I can download, install, and use to get a single a capella song in the can in the span of about three hours?

RIP Algis Budrys

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 02:34:49 GMT

And the pillars continue to fall. khaosworks posts that Locus Online reports that SF author Algis Budrys, 77, passed this morning. Maybe he kept writing well past his prime, but he turned out some good stuff back in the day. Note to Death: I hope you're enjoying this, 'cause we ain't...

Two good things today

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 01:29:35 GMT

A couple little somethings to offset the bad news today:

Firstly, happy happy joy joy to a great author and protofilker on his birthday, Confluence 2008's Guest of Honor joe_haldeman!

Secondly, the company I contract with, Westinghouse Electric Co. LLC, had a Southern-themed picnic today to celebrate our recent collaboration with Shaw Group to win an engineering, procurement and construction (EPC) contract with Georgia Power Company, a subsidiary of Southern Company, for two Westinghouse AP1000 nuclear power units. These will be the first of what will hopefully eventually be many AP1000 plants on American soil, generating (yes, Dr. Brown!) 1.1 gigawatts each with no greenhouse gas emissions. So...some additional job security, a lot of really good BBQ pulled pork and other tastiness, some mediocre Southern rock by a band called Nomad...what more could one ask? :-D

Tom Smith needs healing vibes

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:34:22 GMT

Passing along the report from partiallyclips [with edits from huskiebear and other sources]: Saturday Tom Smith (filkertom) misstepped while getting on stage and tore either a leg muscle or his knee ligaments. He is now in a full-leg cast in a hospital with no Net access, waiting for surgery to be scheduled. His summer convention schedule, including the next three weekends (DucKon, Contata, and Anthrocon), is up in smoke. Please send good thoughts his way and, if you can, order some of his stuff and/or commission a song or something to help him offset the financial hit -- thanks! (Obviously, if you purchase downloadable music, you'll be able to enjoy it much sooner; they have no idea when orders for CDs and other physical goods will be able to be filled.) He hopes to dictate something for huskiebear to post on his LJ soon.

Another edit: This is not Tom's own statement yet, but huskiebear has posted an account of the sad events and the current situation here.

New Song: "The Super-Size Millenium Prize Combo"

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 21:02:38 GMT

First off: For any of you who didn't read the poem in my previous entry for fear of encountering the spoilers for the "Prince Caspian" movie, I've added a second cut that takes you below the privileged info. However, while the poem can be enjoyed on its own merits, it will really only make sense for those who have *read* the entirety of "The Chronicles of Narnia."

Now for the (totally unrelated) new words and moosic... Our Circle assignment for this month was to write a children's song, so I decided to work up a number about something most people would consider very silly to try to explain to kids -- namely, the Clay Institute's Millenium Prize Problems in mathematics. It's clumsy in several spots and I don't know how well it succeeds, but it was fun to do anyway.

"The Super-Size Millenium Prize Combo"
lyrics and music written 6/4-5/08, ©2008 W. Randy Hoffman
for the Pittsburgh Songwriter's Circle June 2008 assignment, "children's songs"

Clay Institute's a think tank for mathematics guys
And in the year 2000, they ponied up a prize
Seven problems they want solved are out of reach of Dilbert
(That's better than the 23 proposed by David Hilbert!)
Each one of the seven is a major crucial gem (whoa!)
They're the Prize Problems of the Millenium (yay!)
Now study hard to learn your math so you can try your luck (ta-da!)
Solve one of these problems and win a million bucks!

P versus NP is the first one you might try
Do solutions take as long to find as they do to verify?
This question's more important than you might realize:
It says whether coded messages are safe from prying eyes
P is the time to double-check for your mistakes (hmm)
NP is the time to get your answers in the first place (aha!)
Are these things the same? That's no project for the slackers (zzz)
Prove P versus NP and win a million smackers!

The old Riemann Hypothesis has stood the test of time
It says a lot about the distribution of the primes:
Numbers that aren't multiples of lower-size amounts
Except themselves and one, and sorry, one just doesn't count
The Riemann zeta function wobbles back and forth -- don't laugh (ha ha)
Each time x equals zero, does real y equal one-half? (whish)
They've checked ten trillion zeros and it gave them aches and chills (brr)
Answer Riemann, yes or no, and win a million bills!

The Navier-Stokes equations describe how fluid flows
Whether liquid through a pipe or gas through space it goes
For any first condition of fluid as it moves,
Can they show a solution, and if so, will it be smooth?
To prove these are reliable's a goal with great allure (go! go!)
The folks that work on Navier-Stokes, so far they can't be sure (dunno)
So get a glass of water and tip it up and lean back (sploosh)
Pin down hopes for Navier-Stokes and win a million greenbacks!

Develop Yang-Mills theory and find the missing mass
Confirm Hodge cycles are a rational algebra class
Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer is the last one in our roundup:
Do elliptical equations have too many keys to count up?
For Poincaré, show 3-D spheres are compact and connected (crunch)
Someone proved that already, but the prize went uncollected (cha-ching!)
To work out such big problems, might you be the first one? (me!)
Solve them all and you'll be called Six Million Dollar Person!
We have the topology. We can transform them.

THE END

Thoughts on "Caspian"; new poem: "For Susan"

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:56:29 GMT

Finally got a chance to see "Prince Caspian" last night; what with one thing and another, poetry came out of it.

Random notes on the movie: "Prince Caspian" is slow, dark, moody, and much too reliant on CGI. Not many of the book's comic bits survived into the film. Still, I thought they did a decent job of the adaptation. Caspian's age didn't bother me; I didn't care for the romance between him and Susan at first, but then I decided they'd set it up well and it wasn't entirely illogical. The Telmarines' Spanish accents weren't necessary, though; through the film, they kept me listening for, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The addition of the White Witch herself to the "temptation to the dark side" scene was...well, pretty cool, actually. Cornell John's interpretation of Glenstorm, though not nearly as noble as the book version, had a feral quality with a believability of its own. My overall impression of the movie: Workmanlike craftsmanship, verging on superb at times, but not enough real heart, imagination, smiles, or laughter.

I found it very interesting how much screen time and character development they gave to Anna Popplewell's Susan, and knowing that this is probably the last we'll see of her character unless they give her a cameo in "A Horse and His Boy," I found myself watching her closely and almost mournfully. This led me today to further thoughts about the character of Susan Pevensie, for whom I have always felt ever since my first reading of "The Last Battle," and some poking around eventually brought me to the CalWeb scan of Neil Gaiman's short story "The Problem of Susan," which made me ill. I like Neil's work, but his portrayal of the older Susan -- following the usual angle of criticism, as a woman betrayed for daring to become a mature sexual being -- was like getting punched in the gut and pushed in the sewer simultaneously. I had to write a response, which is the poem that follows; it's the first poetry I've done in a couple of years, but I think it turned out pretty well.

"For Susan"
written 6/3/08, ©2008 W. Randy Hoffman

Those you love are long since gone; they waved once from the train,
Then went away to summer lands, and only you remain
The shock of it has faded, but the nightmare lasts and lasts
A gift to one who's lost her way from the thing that stoops and grasps

It was not they who left you here; you did that to yourself
A queen content with paying court to petty fame and wealth
Yes, one world was free to roam and the other world was not;
Who said a step that's now denied must be a step forgot?

When our desires are wounded, it's so tempting not to feel
To say, when we don't have the key, the treasure isn't real
Though calendars and mirrors then became your chief concerns
Your eyes and hands remembered skills that you could not have learned

Somehow you convinced yourself it was just a children's game
That you spent two decades playing on an afternoon of rain
You said, "Fancy remembering our fun from long ago!"
But just how did a city waif thus master horse and bow?

In your dreams, two capitals are undone by degrees:
One by bombs and rockets, one by wearing centuries
This is not, eve's daughter, your own hell or holocaust
The table split in part for you; you're not forever lost

Though you feel alone, a broken lion's castaway
You are not forsaken; you are not the vulture's prey!
Amid your doubt and loss, just glance behind you, if you will:
One deep fierce love will never change, and it pursues you still!

Recall once more a lamppost in a forest hung with coats
Four thrones and merfolk singing, sailing ships and laden boats
Embrace the girl you packed away, and once more understand
A gold-furred shape of power with a roar that shook the land

Some soon night you'll hear the voice of that returning friend
You'll open up a book and find its pages never end
They'll find you in the morning, just a volume on the floor
But though you are a little late,
You'll have seen where they await,
And you'll have stepped into the words, back through the standing door

THE BEGINNING

New "Too Much Selkie" song: "Sealed Together"

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 23:16:51 GMT

As I mentioned in my Marcon musings last week, this was the Marcon of Too Much Selkie. I wrote what follows during the drive from Marcon to Balticon.

"Sealed Together"
lyrics and music written 5/25/08, ©2008 W. Randy Hoffman
[The verses are to be sung sadly, wistfully, and ethereally (you know, the whole "selkie vibe" thing); the choruses, not so much.]

I walked far along the strand so wide
I felt the call of the wind and tide
And saw a seal not far from where I stood
Of a sudden, you lay there in its place
Your grey eyes danced in your smiling face
You held a soft fur jacket with a hood
That coat you pressed into my hands
We strode together 'cross the sands
Thus a passion wild and free was born
You spent a storm-tossed night with me
In my tiny cottage by the sea
And heard my deepest feelings the next morn:

"You have...ungodly fish breath! (lu la lu la lu)
Foul haddock-and-codly fish breath! (lu la lu la lu)
It's cute how you can waddle on hands and toes
And balance a ball right on your nose,
But don't think that means you don't have to brush your teeth!
You just keep that stinky fish breath away from me!"

That night was just the first you did abide
The months like gulls flew by inside
That house washed by the spray of every wave
There came a day you knelt beside my chair
Your fingers tracing eddies in my hair
And told me of the promise you must have:
"The thing that you must swear to do
Is not to lose the coat I gave to you
For if you should, you'll see me no more"
You leaned in close to hear my oath
I smiled and thought upon us both
And spoke the words that you were asking for:

"Your...fish breath is still ungodly! (lu la lu la lu)
Your wirebrush whiskers prod me! (lu la lu la lu)
You get paid to flop and bask on the beach
A 'displaced traditional fisher-'...leech
How can I lose what you hid expertly?
I just wish I could get your fish breath away from me!"

The years like breakers rolled right on
You stayed with me; we had a son
But I felt the currents pulling us apart
One winter you could not be found
Your scent made chary every hound
I knew the depths had stolen back your heart
I returned to the home that we had shared
Nonetheless I was not prepared
To find the note you'd left for me to heed
On parchment scraped from oyster shell
Penned with ink from some unguessed well
Were words that only I could read:

"Dear...plant-and-bloody-meat breath, (lu la lu la lu)
You hottie who's suffered heat death: (lu la lu la lu)
What kind of desp'rate land-based omnivore
Mates with something that washed ashore?
I've dug up my coat and swum back out to sea!
Oh, and someone close to you will be shot dead -- but it won't be me!"

THE END

Analyzing a potential byproduct of bits of Colorado SB 200: Worse than OSBP?

Sat, 31 May 2008 00:42:57 GMT

I know most of you on my flist have very little time for Dr. James Dobson and Focus on the Family, but their broadcasts today and yesterday (which, being in my mother's house, I got to listen to) were all about (a) the "over-broad" nature of Colorado Senate Bill 200 (which was signed into law yesterday and added language specifying "sexual orientation" to the state's other antidiscrimination laws), (b) how it would lead, for example, to pedophiles pretending to be transgendered and using women's restrooms or locker rooms in the state's public schools, and (c) how it was passed as a "safety law" not subject to repeal by initiative. This was such an outrageous claim that I wondered exactly how they had reached this conclusion, even though I haven't had a lot of call to fault their legal research (as opposed to their conclusions), so I looked up the law in question:

http://www.leg.state.co.us/CLICS/CLICS2008A/csl.nsf/fsbillcont3/BD7A295EB6F4460E872573F5005D0148?Open&file=200_01.pdf

Most of the bill is pretty straightforward, adding "sexual orientation" to other pieces of state antidiscrimination law. The first portion of particular interest is on page 3:

"2 24-34-301. Definitions. As used in parts 3 to 7 of this article,
3 unless the context otherwise requires:
4 (7) 'SEXUAL ORIENTATION' MEANS A PERSON'S ORIENTATION
5 TOWARD HETEROSEXUALITY, HOMOSEXUALITY, BISEXUALITY, OR
6 TRANSGENDER STATUS OR ANOTHER PERSON'S PERCEPTION THEREOF."

So this law definitely applies to people of "transgender status." However, it does not go on to define what "transgender status" means, or under what circumstances a person is considered to belong to that class.

--------

The second portion of interest is on page 7:

"17 SECTION 4. 24-34-601 (2), Colorado Revised Statutes, is
18 amended to read:
19 24-34-601. Discrimination in places of public accommodation.
20 (2) It is a discriminatory practice and unlawful for a person, directly or
21 indirectly, to refuse, withhold from, or deny to an individual or a group,
22 because of disability, race, creed, color, RELIGION, sex, SEXUAL
23 ORIENTATION, marital status, national origin, or ancestry, the full and
24 equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, privileges, advantages,
25 or accommodations of a place of public accommodation [...]"

Note the phrase "the full and equal enjoyment of the [...] facilities [...] or accommodations". I could find no official definitions that make it clear what "facilities" or "accomodations" are, but the ADA certainly applies to restrooms, and disability is one of the protected classes mentioned here, so unless restrooms, locker rooms, or public showers are specifically excluded -- which they aren't, in this bill -- I would read this section as applying to them.

--------

So, what are the "places of public accommodation" mentioned in line 19 of that passage? This bill doesn't define those either, but I poked around and found a Colorado antidiscrimination law for people with assistance dogs:

http://www.state.co.us/gov_dir/leg_dir/olls/sl1995/sl.107.htm

It says:

"24-34-803. Rights of persons with assistance dogs. [...]"
"(7) AS USED IN THIS SECTION, UNLESS THE CONTEXT OTHERWISE REQUIRES: [...]"
"(e) 'Places of public accommodation' means the following categories of private entities:"
[(I) through (IX) and (XIII) list every conceivable place of business]
"(X) Parks, zoos, or other places of recreation;
"(XI) Nursery, elementary, secondary, undergraduate, or graduate schools or other places of education;
"(XII) Day care centers, senior citizen centers, [...];"
"(XIV) Any other establishment or place to which the public is invited; or
"(XV) Any establishment physically containing or contained within any of the establishments described in this paragraph [...]."

So, unless this is not the same list of "places of public accommodation" to which SB 200 refers, then I think they're right that public schools would be affected. *And* nursery schools, day care centers, senior centers, and parks.

--------

Lastly, what about the whole "safety law" thing? There it is, last paragraph, page 22:

"6 SECTION 35. Safety clause. The general assembly
7 determines, and declares that this act is necessary
8 preservation of the public peace, health, and safety."

(Between lines 7 and 8, the words "for the immediate" have been inadvertently left out.) What effect does this clause have? According to former Colorado House Rep. Jerry Kopel (http://www.jerrykopel.com/2005/Safety-Clause.htm -- note that I do not know who this guy is, do not know his positions, and do not endorse him in any way!):

"How does the failure to have a safety clause work?

"In plain English, there is a 90 day period after the legislature adjourns. Voters can sign a petition to repeal the bill or specific portions of the bill. To be valid, a petition needs a number of signatures equal to five percent of the votes cast for all candidates in the last general election for secretary of state. Today, that is 67,828 valid signatures.

"If a petition is valid, the bill goes on to the November ballot. Citizens must approve the legislative bill by a majority vote. If a petition doesn't get the required signatures, the bill becomes law 91 days after the legislature adjourns."

With the safety clause in the bill, it takes effect immediately. No petitions, no initiative, instant law, bang.

--------

By now I'm sure you're asking, "What's your point? Do you have problems with transgendered people using the restroom of the gender they've chosen?" No, I don't. But I do think that Focus has a legitimate beef that this *particular tiny slice* of this law, as written, is open to abuse. If someone who looks like a guy in drag starts wandering around the women's locker room at the public pool, a woman complains, and the person tells management (or the cops) "I'm TG and I have a right to be here," are they supposed to make that person *prove* he or she is really TG? How, exactly, would the person do that? And if that person is told (in an attempt to encourage them to make use of the room and leave), "Then get on with changing your clothes," and the person responds, "I don't have to, and if I looked female you would never say that to me!", what then?

One might be tempted to respond, "Various places in the world have unisex bathrooms, and they get along OK." Yes, but in a *unisex* bathroom, one expects both men and women to be coming and going, and acts accordingly; in a *ladies'* room, a woman might be changing or doing other sorts of "gender-private" things *outside* the stall when Not-Actually-TG-Guy walks in. And I don't think unisex locker rooms or showers are a real good idea.

One might also be tempted to respond, "This is a hypothetical situation that will happen exceptionally seldom." That's true -- *unless* men of a certain type figure out that they can get away with it. And anyway, if even one woman is the victim of an unwelcome voyeurization, photograph, advance, or grope, or of an assault, in a place where she (theoretically) should have the right to feel a greater measure of privacy and/or safety than usual, isn't that too many?

As onerous as it would seem, I think I would ask someone who is TG and wants to use public facilities limited to their destination gender to be able (*not* required, but able *if* requested) to present proof of (a) completed or pending gender reassignment therapy or surgery, (b) psychological or licensed-counselor concurrence regarding their gender identity, or at least (c) some long-term period of membership in a reputable transgender organization. Maybe that's too much of a burden on civil rights, but otherwise I think that short of making all restrooms in the state unisex (which doesn't help the locker room/shower situation anyway), there's too much abuse potential with this little piece of this law as it's written. However, I'm probably just missing one or two or thirty obvious points that you'll proceed to clue me in on, so have at it. :-)

New song (for fleetfootmike et al): "Ebon on Sable on Black"

Fri, 30 May 2008 14:20:21 GMT

Was listening to Bramblebush's take on "Before the Dawn" this morning and this just came to me in a rush. I guess it'll be my contribution to the cycle; I hope you like it.

"Ebon on Sable on Black"
lyrics and original music written 5/30/08, ©2008 W. Randy Hoffman
music for final two lines from "Before the Dawn" ©1985(?) Mike Whitaker

No moon or starshine on our shields, we ride to the last assault
We drive each horse with a heavy hand; no break, no rest, and no halt
We pass rich farmsteads by the hour, don't pause to burn or slay
We must outfly any hue and cry and conquer by break of day

Quiet, quiet as you can, till the hour of the attack
The dead of night's our fitting device, ebon on sable on black

We crest the final hill and spy one watchfire high yet low
Even if we're spotted now, we can't be stayed or slowed
So we kindle hungry flame; we raise it in our hands
That ill-manned tow'r's already ours, the key to all these lands

Strike hard and strike to kill! Don't shrink and don't turn back!
The dead of night's our fitting device, ebon on sable on black

Sweeping 'round the lonely spire, we take the ruined keep
Many in the towns beyond we kill while they're still asleep
As we slaughter all we find and put defense to rout
The children die and I wonder why -- do I nurse the only doubt?

There is much a man might lose in the darkness of a sack
The dead of night's our fitting device, ebon on sable on black

We charge in force up the tower's stair and I am in the van
Delaying utter victory is the sword of its guardian
I know by then as I run him through, and he falls and calls a name --
Mother? Maid? God without aid? -- no more will I be the same

Though we plunder all the world, a human soul I'll lack
The dead of night's our fitting device, ebon on sable on black

Licking the walls is a dancing flame
And its darkling light leaps up to meet the dawn

THE END

Addenda

Fri, 30 May 2008 04:19:39 GMT

First, death notices out of the way. Goodbye to a set of extraordinarily talented gentlemen (other than Bob Asprin) who have enriched the lives of many:

May 18: Joseph Pevney, Trek director.
May 23: Utah Phillips, folk singer/songwriter.
May 24: Dick Martin, TV comic of "Laugh-In" fame.
May 25: Ernst Stuhlinger, Von Braun protege and science director at NASA's Marshall Center.
May 26: Sydney Pollack, director and actor, "Tootsie" and "Out of Africa" and on and on.
May 27: Earle Hagen, TV and film composer, "I Spy" and too many other themes to list.
May 28: Alexander Courage, Trek composer.
May 29: Harvey Korman, comic actor and (ah me) voice of The Great Gazoo.

A couple last items from the weekend:

It was nice to see surakofb5 at Marcon, though it was only in passing. She was actually on a couple of panels with Marc Singer that I would have liked to see. In a recent LJ entry she points to a video of this year's Best in Show winner at the Marcon Masquerade (*so* well done -- can you identify all of the theme music?):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQmVijxr-Yk

In my entry for Sunday, I kept calling partiallyclips "pclips," which is his userid in another context. Sorry about that, Rob! Fixed now!

Speaking of whom, a big highlight for me (which I'm amazed I forgot to mention earlier) of Balticon's Sunday night open filk happened after I decided, in response to all of the really impressive material that Rin and Sassafras and maugorn and others were performing, to pull out my most complex piece of recent years, "I Meta Song One Day" (to which Rand would have me add, "Or, Idiom's Delight"), a trip through Western musical-genre history from the songwriter's POV; my performance garnered a standing O from partiallyclips and sodyera, two songwriters I greatly respect. Shweeeetness! This time (as I've done in the last couple of occasions I've sung it), I omitted its rap segment, and it seemed much tighter. Once I rewrite that portion to be smoother and shorter, I'll re-add it, along with maybe extra bits for soul and hip-hop. We'll see.

One nice surprise Monday before I left was getting to talk to howmandu for the first time in years. Glad he's able to get out more now, and looking forward to seeing him again soon. What a great four-day vacation this was! I'm so stoked...

The Sunday Epic Drive and Balticon

Wed, 28 May 2008 16:47:25 GMT

Hmm...very few comments on the previous entry, but I guess they can't all inspire the same response as "cadhla gets a book deal." [*huge grin*] Guess I'll finish my combined consrep/triprep here.

One correction from last time: I noticed while looking through the new CDs that the dedicatedly fannish one is by Emerald Rose, not the Brobdignagian Bards (which kinda makes more sense).

One addition to last time: I forgot to mention an interesting moment from Saturday night. As old_fortissimo left the open filk, I went after him to ask how I could reach him to talk about arranging a concert at Confluence. But tollers went to talk to him as well; in the course of the conversation, it came out that she had missed him performing his "religion cycle" (the one that begins with "Ave Maria" to the tune of "Hava Nagila") at the wake on Friday, and we ended up stopping two doors down in Union C so he could perform it for her. Watching the expressions play across her face and hearing her laugh as he played and sang was lots of fun; it must have been like what Howie Harrison feels when he watches the audience during the "Reincarnation Song." (Is Howie still doing OK, BTW? I haven't heard anything since that GAFilk he attended.)

OK, so where were we? Sunday morning. Chris and I got up, looked at the bill and figured out our split, and parted ways. I got everything together, proceeded to the front desk, checked out, and dragged everything out to the car. I contemplated going back in to gather up extra Confluence flyers, and maybe stop in at Alec's table in the dealers' room, and maybe get some food in the Green Room...but no, it was now almost 12:30, and I really really needed to get on the road or I would never make Balticon in time for Stone Dragons' 7:30 concert. And I had a few extra flyers anyway. So I said a mental goodbye to everybody at Marcon and rolled away.

Now, I have been parking in the Chestnut Street Garage ever since I started going to Marcon. There have always been parking spaces in there somewhere -- even after they started leasing and reserving spots -- and the city-maintained walkway from the garage to the Hyatt is completely enclosed, which has been really nice on days when it's been windy and raining and all that. Best of all, the garage has been cheap. Well, no more. I drove up to the window and the girl behind the glass tells me it's $24 -- $12 per day for all-day weekend parking (the equivalent of standing at a meter and pumping in a quarter for every half hour). I told her that I thought the convention had a special arrangement with the garage (as it has in prior years). She said no, staying in the hotel gives in/out privileges, but that's all, and would I mind paying the $24 now please? Grumble mumble. I guess I'll need to find on-street parking in future years.

The drive itself...well, I really shouldn't call it "Epic," because aside from being long, it wasn't eventful, which suited me fine. The weather was bee-yoo-tee-ful. Rather than taking I-70 the whole way, both Mapquest and Google Maps recommended a right turn at Washington, PA, to take I-79 South to I-68 East. I was dubious, but I thought I'd try it. And the route was Made of Win: very hilly, but no construction, nice road, only moderate traffic, and pretty too. (The passage through the gigantic V-notch blasted and carved out of Sideling Hill just before I-68 rejoins I-70 was really amazing; you can see it coming for miles and miles away, and on the way through it's abundantly clear how the rock strata have warped and bent in colossal curves...very cool.)

Stopped at a Burger King somewhere around (I *think*) Hagerstown; when I got done munching a couple of Whopper Juniors, it was after 4 p.m., and I asked the ladies at the register whether it was three hours to Baltimore or closer four. "Closer four," they said, and I sighed with resignation. But it turns out they were wrong; I took the last exit just before the Hunt Valley Marriott a little after 7. I wasn't prepared for the hotel entrance to be practically at the end of the ramp, so I missed it and drove about a mile down the road looking for it, turned around, saw it on the way back but couldn't make the left-hand turn, and went about another half-mile to where I could reverse field again. I got myself parked and started looking for the concert location. This particular Marriott being a sprawling, low-built hotel of slightly Escherlike nature, I had trouble finding *any* kind of landmarks, so I finally asked the folks manning the Balticon Sales desk. They hauled out a program book and referred me to the map, which directed me downstairs to Salon E and F. At last I walked into the filk room...at about twenty after seven. Yay.

Stone Dragons (sposter and sexybass) were up front already, with decadentdave, lord_korak, and Urban Tapestry seated nearby and a mere handful of other people in the room. I got lots of hugs and handshakes and exclamations of "You made it!" from these folks, which was great, but I couldn't help looking around and saying to myself, "Is this it? Surely this isn't the extent of Balticon's filk audience?" Fortunately, that impression was an illusion; as it turned out, most of the filkers had run off to dinner, and as the minutes went by more and more of them returned, including stevemb, starmalachite, gorgeousgary, the_sheryl, madfilkentist, partiallyclips, maugorn, and sodyera.

Tom and Sue started their set with remarks to the effect of "This is our first concert together!" and "We'll always remember Balticon." Both of them were nervous and muttered about doing poorly, which they didn't of course. The concert certainly wasn't perfect, but it was wonderful and delivered with enthusiasm and I enjoyed it a great deal. decadentdave was up next; he did many of his standards, including "Merlin" and "Northwest Passage," and was terrific as well. His set was followed by a literary theme filk; lots of Tolkien numbers were trotted out, but not many Bujold-inspired ones, which I found surprising. I did my song "A Pail of Air," which recapitulates the Fritz Leiber short story of the same title, for only about the third time since I wrote it four or five years ago; as I feared, I groped around for the melody and the song was as long and musically uninteresting as I remembered. But people asked about the original work anyway, so I guess they found the lyrics listenable at least. (I *should* have done "Khaled"; much better song and it doesn't give away the whole plot.)

The open filk was extremely interesting -- nay, eye-opening. maugorn, who just keeps getting better and better, brought the place down with his Cthulhu reggae tune (whose title, despite it being my favorite song of his, I can never remember); lots of people were swaying and miming chin tentacles. He was already sold out of his new album, but I bought a copy of his 2006 "Live at Darkover" CD. (This began a pattern of "hear, must buy" that put my bankrupted pants into indentured servitude.) The three previously unknown and unheralded young Bryn Mawr graduates who together form Sassafras were, as allisona has already remarked in one of her reports, astoundingly good, with sophisticated arrangements and tight a capella harmonies. (Yes, I bought their 2001 CD as well, and I sincerely hope to hear them at many more filks in the future.) Their "Daughter of Apocalypse" is a strong piece, as is "Earth and the Water and the Wind," but it's their "revolutionary pastoral" number titled "Sapphire, Ruby and Gold" that I have on perpetual repeat in my car's CD player because it knocks my socks off. At some point, another young lady (whose badge name was Rin and whose frontmost lock of hair was pink) showed up with her guitar; she had to be coaxed to perform, but once she did -- good grief. Stunning! Her song "The Stranger," about the protagonist of the anime series "Cowboy Bebop," was spot-on. (Nights like this give me some hope that there *will* be another generation of filkers after ours is over.)

Eventually almost everybody pumpkined. *Almost* everybody. Even after the legendarily hardy sodyera packed it in soon after passing out the 4 a.m. "filk survivor" stickers at about 2:15, partiallyclips was in the mood to filk the night away. He singleghandedly kept the rest of us going, song after song after song; I did more material in those last two and a half hours than I'd done the entire rest of the weekend. It wasn't until after 5 that he finally gave up.

At this point we come to the weekend's inevitable snafu. I say "inevitable" because no con weekend is ever this good without *something* going wrong somewhere along the way. stevemb, starmalachite, ccrazy, and madfilkentist, who had gone to bed much earlier so he would be able to make his long drive back to Massachusetts the next day, had graciously agreed to give me floor space in their hotel room Sunday night; Steve gave me his room key, I gathered my CPAP from the car, and proceeded to Room 1081. Key did not work. Maybe I heard the wrong number? 1080? No, that doesn't work either. Went back down to the filk room. No one there. Went back upstairs. 1082? No. 1083? No... I thought about knocking, but I was no longer at all sure which room it was, and I didn't want to wake up a room full of strangers at 5:30 in the morning. I could call the room, but that would surely wake Gary, and I didn't want to do that to him. I could call starmalachite's cell phone from mine...but mine was out of juice. Later, numerous other possible strategies would occur to me, but as fried as I was at that moment, the only thing I could think to do was go out and sleep in my car. This worked out fine, actually, but when I got back up at around 11:30, I realized -- as would have been obvious to anyone even halfway awake -- that I had been trying to unlock Balticon Marriott doors with a key from the Marcon Hyatt. Doh!!!

Changed clothes, shaved, etc., in one of the hallway restrooms, then ran across starmalachite and stevemb in the parking lot and explained what had happened. Because we were near both of our cars, Crystal had Steve fetch and pass along a princely gift she had prepared for me. Because I don't have a DVR and I can't watch SF TV shows at normal hours of the day (because watching TV is my grandma's major remaining occupation and she doesn't understand or enjoy SF), I haven't been able to see much of the new "Doctor Who," "Torchwood," or just about anything else; Crystal is trying to rectify this deficit by burning DVDs for me, and gave me a whole box of them. Huge-a-mundo extra-major special thanks to a sweet and caring woman!

Still later, I crossed paths with suecochran and had a very nice conversation with her. We went to see Urban Tapestry's arranging/performance workshop at noon, but found out it had been postponed until 1. Temporarily went back upstairs, talked with jannyblue (who was manning the FuMP/webcomics table); she pointed out that Rob's producer and collaborator Geoff Reitt (sp?) had an album available for only five bucks. (Yes, bought it, I am weak of will.) When the workshop did happen, it consisted largely of UT going back and forth with Ada and Lauren of Sassafras about arranging for multiple voices, but it was still fascinating, even for a mostly single-voice songwriter/performer like me.

Dr. SETI led the Arthur C. Clarke Memorial Circle that followed. He shared some wonderful anecdotes, did three songs, and mentioned that he had a new CD out. (Yes, bought it. Shut up.) I did "Space Tourist," which went over OK. Stayed for a piece of the Dead Dog after that, but left along with a chunk of other folks at 4 and headed home, retracing my way back to I-70 and then the PA Turnpike. It rained and I got pretty tired, but made it home OK. Observations on the various recordings will follow as I listen to them. Thanks to everybody who helped make the conventions, the trip, and the good times I enjoyed possible! See most of you again soon, I hope!

Marcon: Saturday

Wed, 28 May 2008 00:49:26 GMT

I forgot to mention that the start of Friday night's open filking was hosted by Wild Mercy; they did their best, but there were too many people in that room for chaos to function well.

Saturday morning I managed to drag myself out of bed at about 11:10, which was fortunate because I had an 11:30 panel. I made it with about five minutes to spare. The panel was about running filk at a general SF convention vs. at a filkcon; besides me, it featured Trace, Howard Scrimgeour, braider, and qnvhrtz. We had an audience of about five people, which is pretty typical for SMOFfy panels and is why I have never run one at Confluence. The start of the panel was delayed for about ten minutes as we waited for folks to show up and for peteralway to successfully record a harmony part by braider for "Better with Harmony." But eventually all was in order and we launched into it. I *did* get some good ideas out of that panel; the one about setting a clock at the front of the stage where all of the performers can see it is something I wish I'd thought of years ago. I also realized that my emails to the performers need to do a better job of clarifying when they're allowed to sell their own CDs vs. when we expect them to do so through Juanita.

Shortly afterward, as much as I wished I could go to Wild Mercy's concert, I had to call my concert collaborator Kira Heston and meet her in a sparsely populated section of the convention-center concourse so we could rehearse. We would be doing four songs together: covers of Annwn's versions of "Black Eye, Yellow Eye," "To the West," and "The Cutty Wren," all of which we've performed before, and a cover of Margaret and Kristoph's version of Cindy McQuillin's "Ruby Wine," which was new for us. As expected, "To the West" and "Ruby Wine" gave me problems, despite our having rehearsed them hard just a few days previously; it's the places where the parts cross that trip me up. But we got things ironed out with a few minutes to spare, so I wandered over to the hall-concert area while Kira took a quick break.

Riverfolk (chirosinger and chasophonic) were just finishing their hall set; they sounded terrific, which made me wish I could have been in *three* places at once instead of just two. As soon as that ended, the local Marcon sound crew (who were super-riffic all weekend, thanks guys!) were very helpful in getting us set up once Kira rejoined me; we did a quick sound check (with listener assistance from chirosinger, chasophonic, and musicmutt), then got going. (Our only persistent audience consisted of Kira's husband Keith and our friend Don Turner, but I wasn't expecting much else for a hall concert.) Besides the four duet numbers, I sang "The Finer Points of Sportsmanship," "Elizabeth Dane" (felt really good to trot that one out again!), and (you win, Rand) "Pharmakoia"; I might have done one other, but if I did, I forget which one.

After that, I talked to Wild Mercy, who were unloading (and unwinding) in the Franklin hall, then went inside the combined Franklin rooms to see a chunk of Alexander James Adams' concert. It was very good, although I'm not as enamored of his material as some people (and I find the whole "fairyland resident swap" conceit pretty silly); his fiddle playing has certainly only gotten better. He did his "selkie sacrifices for love" song (whose title I forget), which inspired Cat to compose and perform (that night) a selkie song in reply, and also inspired several people to do selkie stuff in the Saturday open filk. This was, officially, Too Much Selkie, and triggered my "pillage and burn" genre-parody response. I will post the results later.

After that concert, I swung through the dealers' room, bankrupting my pants on new CDs from singingpatient and ericcoleman; relatively old CDs (that I didn't own) from the FuMP; a dedicatedly fannish CD from the Brobdignagian Bards; and several others that have coalesced in a blur. The best find was a pile of review copies of Hourglass Productions interview tapes (that Juanita had discovered in her basement) with Authors Who Are Mostly No Longer With Us, including Asimov, Leiber, Garrett, Kurtz, and more. They date from 1978 BUT THEY STILL SOUND GOOD. Must get them transferred right away!

Then I drifted over to the Green Room to get some food; I sat down with chirosinger and we had a wonderful conversation. I felt kind of guilty about going on so long, because Renee Alper was reading and singing from her latest musical in the Fairfield Room and had specifically asked me to come support her. But I rationalized and hemmed and hawed until I couldn't avoid heading to Fairfield after about 45 minutes; I feared that she would already be finished.

I needn't have worried. From 4:45 to 5:15, I sat and watched her read and sing as her oh-so-patient assistant Sabrina turned pages and plied her with water. I would probably have stayed longer, except for one thing: The "musical" was, for all intents and purposes, merely a series of previously existing songs scotch-taped together with autobiographical anecdotes about what it's like to live with a disability. While the stories were illuminating, and I like Renee's songs, there is a limit to how much of a "monologue about me" I can digest at one time. I sidled out when I figured I had fulfilled my obligations; there were still three people left in her audience, and I have no idea how much longer she kept going.

I then watched about a half hour of singingpatient's set. She, also, continues to improve, but I'm sorry to hear that she feels that her constant performances for callous Joisey audiences are pushing her towards writing ever-more-blue material. She's consistently exceptionally funny already; it's hard for me to believe she needs to go for shock value. At least she didn't trot much of that stuff out during the concert, because one child was in the audience.

A little after 6:00, I went down to the food court and joined Kira, Keith, and Don for dinner. Keith had recently finished making a costume that had taken him years to put together, so he had entered it in the Masquerade and had just finished the pre-judging. I ordered massaman gai from Siam Express, being careful to specify "mild." (Siam Express is one of those places where you have to say "mild" or it's too hot for me to eat, although that would probably be right up Kathy Mar's alley.) Note to self: Massaman gai, while very good, contains chicken and peanuts but no vegetables; if you want a dish with veggies, order something else next year.

I then wandered off to the Art Show. I think the artists must have done well this year; almost everything I found the slightest bit interesting had one, two, five, or nine bids on it already. A new (to me) and interesting addition to the mix were lots of very cool mathematical-looking symmetrical origami forms exhibited by the Capital Paper Shapers.

At that point it was time to get seats for the Masquerade. I plunked down next to Don, who had saved seats for Kira and me, and continued working on my Extra-Secret Birthday-Present Parody for billroper; alas, I didn't get it done in time for the Saturday open filk as I'd planned, but I'll try to have it done for when next we meet.

The Masquerade had a few of the usual technical glitches before it got started. skzbrust was the emcee and did a terrific job, although as soon as he was called upon to actually start reading entry sheets with the spotlights in his eyes, it was clear that they hadn't rehearsed under those conditions. Tsk, tsk. After the kids had had their turns, Keith was the first adult entrant to take the stage. His costume, Corporate Raider, consisted of a business shirt, pants, and diagonally striped tie MADE ENTIRELY OF ALUMINUM AND NITRILE CHAIN MAIL. It was deeply impressive. Many of the Novice entries were very good; Marcon continues to recover from the "shorter and cheesier" trend that hit most masquerades in the mid to late 90s. The Journeyman entries were also excellent, and the usual faux-educational "Harry Potter and You" skit by the HP-Ohio fan group went over well. (One thing I noticed is that Marcon has given up trying to enforce the two-minute rule; a couple of the presentations were at least four minutes long.)

Once the judges adjourned, lukeski took the stage and performed a tremendous set. He was in rare form, the accompaniment CD cooperated, and the house was duly rocked. Then...the Masquerade staff started sending "stretch" signals. And they kept sending them. What followed was truly heroic. lukeski burned well into his intended repertoire for his Sunday concert, briefly relieved by skzbrust using him as a foil and comeback artist for riffs of Minnesota jokes and Da Yoopers material. At one point Luke called a young lady from the Masquerade staff onstage who had desperately requested to be allowed to sing a song. Cue *seven minutes of excruciatingly earnest, sweet-and-quiet-and-wavery-voiced torture*; I can't be positive, but I *think* it was yet another selkie number dedicated to Alec. I was very proud that Luke kept his cool.

Eventually the long-overdue judges returned and many awards were handed out. Keith received "Best in Show - Workmanship", to which Kira responded with a piercing cheer. The overall "Best in Show" went to a stupendous Master-class group effort in which a succession of fanciful Guitar Heroes dueled the Grim Reaper to rescue a damsel in distress, to the tunes of the GH-soundtrack-ized main themes from about ten different SF movies and TV shows. They definitely deserved to win.

The Saturday open filk was almost as crowded as Friday's. Fortunately, Alec (who was hosting a "fantasy creatures" type theme filk for the first hour) imposed bardic, so the opening hour went predictably with no one getting their toes stepped on. I followed up someone's wendigo piece with another song about unearthly creatures with long teeth that you don't want to meet -- namely, "Naked Mole Rat." sweetmusic_27 and her partner-in-fiddling swapped duets, one of which Alec joined in on to form a trio; that was something to hear, I can tell you. (sweetmusic_27 for Best Performer Pegasus! Nominate, nominate, nominate...as soon as the ballot is up.) After the theme gave way to the open filk, I was very pleased that min0taur performed "Small Designs" at my request; "Uplift" must still win Best Song Pegasus, of course, but I hope "Small Designs" winds up on more nomination ballots than just my own.

At some point Renee Alper requested my assistance in fixing a line in her and her friend Marie's fresh evolution-themed parody of "When I Was a Boy" ("When I was an ape," etc.). It was a very good song, and I didn't mind helping out with the rough spot...but that turned into three-plus hours of on-again, off-again assistantship. We wandered the meeting rooms looking for Marie; I entertained the young daughter of a wheelchair-bound woman we encountered that Renee had to stop and talk with at some length; and finally I stacked and carried accessories when she needed to return to her hotel room for the night. I like Renee a lot; I care for her, in fact; but she is nonetheless a needy and self-absorbed person, and sometimes it's hard not to think of her in terms of the proverbial albatross.

The filk once again died out at about 3:30. I zonked out while contemplating the Sunday Epic Drive and Balticon.

Up next: The Sunday Epic Drive and Balticon. (Who would have guessed?)